Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
