Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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