i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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