Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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