I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
