I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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