we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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