i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
