she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I would ride that face into the sunset
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
