I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
