Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
