He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
