I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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