Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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