The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize