she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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