Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize