I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
