I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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