Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
