I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I deserve this hangover.
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