he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
