Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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