Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
