Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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