I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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