I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
