Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
