you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
