So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
