Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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