Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Someone signed my nipple.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize