Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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