Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My vagina just clenched in fear
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