There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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