And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
