check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
