the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
