I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
