halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize