I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
