What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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