I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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