Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night