um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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