no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize