that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
