32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
