You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
