He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
