By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
