first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
