Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
