Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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