i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I smell stomach acid.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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