sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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