You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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