quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
