I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
