Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
