Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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