wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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