If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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