do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
