No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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